My project was in memory of my cousin Drake and my old friend Tonya, also dedicated to my husband who is a survivor.
I wanted to approach this project in a way that felt authentic to me and the way I handle grief and also how I care for others during a time of grief.
I wanted to share my process of cooking for a couple of main reasons. 1) It's a form of therapy for me. It can either help me step away from my feelings or to fully be in my thoughts processing my feelings. 2) It's my love language to others. Making and sharing comfort food is how we can come together and heal. And to show others who are also grieving that I care about them.
“cooking is my love language to others. making and sharing comfort food is how we can come together and heal. and to show others who are also grieving that i care about them.”
“making this reminded me of how i made something to comfort my family and then also something that reminded me of tonya. if this one small thing once brought her joy, then maybe it can bring me a little piece too.”
“another one of the foods i made was banh bo nuong, a vietnamese coconut honeycomb cake. this was also something i made for my cousin’s funeral for my family.”
I think that approaching this from a very personal space makes it easier. There's no right or wrong way to approach this, but just let yourself be vulnerable and approach it as a personal project that feels true to you.
The experience of creating and sharing showed me that I can be completely vulnerable with others. And that I have the ability to have an effect on others to heal as well.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Dolly.
sunday conversations, season three